Brock's Birth story

I realized that I never shared my birth story with Brock on here. I posted quickly with Jake, but Brock’s went so much quicker, and everything with Brock has gone so much quicker. So if you’re squeamish, maybe don’t keep reading but here it is, the story of Brock’s birth.

About three months after we found out I was pregnant, covid hit, lockdown hit. And having a kidney syndrome I had a compromised immune system, and had my doctor put me out of work. This was also the time of the daycares closing, so Jake was home with me for two months. In those two months, I was basically always nauseous. What’s more, Cale had to miss almost every appointment. He and Jake were able to go in for the first ultrasound. He missed gender reveal, had to drive me to my weekly appointment with fetal assessment, but never went in. 

Unlike with Jake where I had the “Whatever happens, happens” Birth-plan, there was a little more structure this time. I had round 2 of gestational diabetes, as a result my obstetrician had no desire to have me go over 38 weeks. I also ended up with a C section with Jake because I didn’t progress in labour. So, the plan was this, we scheduled a C section for 38 weeks, but if I went into labour naturally, I would attempt a VBAC. 

A week before, my Mother-in-law came up, because the plan was for her to stay with Jake while all this was happening. I think it was the Wednesday night going into Thursday and I had unbearable itching. I ended up in Labour and Delivery, they gave me some meds and asked me to come back on Saturday to follow up. When we got there, they said they were worried about cholestasis, and moved my c section up to Monday. 

We got to the hospital early Monday morning, before Jake was even up. They did their little thing they do getting you prepped before taking you into the operating room. This is where I started really comparing notes. The spinal tap thing, I still will not say it hurt, but it was less comfortable this time. I feel like a lot of this was less pleasant because I was exhausted by the time I got to Jake, but I remember it better as a result.  I know I was super nauseous. They brought Cale in, and I really don’t remember much until I heard Brock cry, and then I cried. They put him on my chest, and I remember thinking how beautiful he was. The recovery room care was awesome. Cale was comfortable holding a baby this time, so he held/ cuddled Brock while I was stitched up. I had an incredible team in there ready to help me; I didn’t the first time. I felt nauseous; they had a bucket for me. I was super thirsty; they would give me sips of water. For me though the biggest thing was getting Brock to latch. The beginning of my nursing experience with Jake was a major struggle and it caused a lot of issues. I was determined to have Brock latch right away and avoid this same issue. I was trying and trying and almost getting it, but I was so out of it, it was a struggle. I had a nurse come and help me, and it all came flooding back. I did not have another issue with nursing him. 

We got into our room. I held him and did not hand him over except for diaper changes for the first 24 hours. Brock spent his first 24 hours of life being held by me. I am quite proud of that.  

While Brock’s birth story isn’t as exciting as Jake’s, I was able to slow down and enjoy it while it was happening. I wasn’t as scared and had some idea what I was doing.  So, there it is, my second and last birth story.

Mama Bear Out

My Checklist for the Boys Summer Wardrobe

The days are gone when I had a huge stockpile of clothes for Jake. I remember there was a time when I had these totes of clothes that had been bought for him as shower gifts and such and I filled in the blanks basically. With Brock I kept the clothes Jake wore so for the most part we’ve been covered. But where Jake was born in the Winter, and Brock was born in the Summer, we have run into the first time that this has been an issue. All the Summer clothes that we have from Jake are either way too small or way too big. So, we actually had to figure out a summer wardrobe for both boys this year. I have a system in my head that I sort of had mentally put together for piecing together Jake’s wardrobe. He does not go through sizes like he used to, that’s for sure. So, I thought I would share the wardrobe checklist I have for the boys for the Summer. I try and keep it minimal, so I don’t get overwhelmed, but not so much that I have to do laundry very day of the week (though it still feels like we do). This is basically we do laundry on the weekend, and maybe a load or two during the week.

Shoes: 1-2 Pairs of sneakers*

1 Pair of Sandals

1 Pair of Water shoes*

1 Pair of Rubber boots *

The *’s mean just Jake. Brock isn’t walking yet, so shoes aren’t that important. While he does have sneakers, and a pair of sandals, we had them already, and I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to get them for him.  Jake, we currently have 1 pair of sneakers, and may need a second. Water shoes just make sprinkler time, pool time and time at the beach easier. Sandals are great for when we’re out running errands. And of course, “If you jump in muddy puddles, you must wear your boots”.

Bottoms: 2 Pairs of Jeans

   5 Pairs of shorts

I know when I was a kid, I lived in shorts in the summer. The only time Jake didn’t wear shorts last year was a bon fire, and that’s mostly what the jeans are for. 5 Pairs of shorts with a wash in the middle of the week is more than enough for Jake. That said it would have been for Jake when he was younger too, but Brock is far messier, we’ll see how he does. 

Tops: 5 T-shirts

3 Tank tops *

2 Hoodies

I only really worried about tanks for Jake because we have t-shirts (bodysuits) coming out of our ears for Brock. I did however find him a little one-piece outfit that’s sleeveless and adorable on him (he wore it yesterday). The hoodies are for cooler evenings, or bon fires.

2 Hats each

14 Pairs of Socks and Underwear*. Obviously, underwear is just Jake.

Sunglasses. Jake only started to like them in the last year, and Brock hates his, so…

4 Pairs of PJ’s. Unless they heavily sweat, or wet their PJ’s, honestly, I have no problem with them wearing them two nights in a row. So, 4 is a good number.

2 Swimsuits

And that’s about it. As I mentioned, Brock has way more t-shirts than listed, and Jake has more shorts because he got more from others last year. What seems to have happened is Jake is still able to sport last year’s shorts. They fit his waist, and they are slightly shorter, but not enough he can’t wear them again. I was so happy when I discovered this. I would think if this changes we’ll be into some major clearance sales. 

This may seem like over thinking it to some, but this little formula has saved me money and put me at ease because I’m not worried if they have enough. I also know what every article of clothing they own looks like, so if something is missing, I can typically find it easily. 

Mama Bear Out

Foam Party!

A couple weeks ago we bought CLR to give a serious clean to our bbq. One of the things I heard it's supposed to be great for is cleaning the dishwasher. Our dishwasher is old, and we frequently complain about something about it, so I thought sure why not.

Well, I didn't bother to measure and mindlessly poured it into the dishwasher. I was fortunately sitting on the kitchen floor with Brock when I spotted it, so it didn't get too big; but there it was, foam coming out of my dishwasher. Immediately I shut it all down and Cale and I used a measuring cup and turkey baster to get out as much of the water and foam as we could. This was a process we repeated until the third time it didn't spew out bubbles. I also sat on my kitchen floor with my coffee and refused to leave until the cycle was done.

10 Years

People say the beginning of a relationship is the best part. I disagree, it’s the most exciting for sure, but not the best. Saturday Cale and I celebrated ten years of marriage, and I’m here to tell you it hasn’t all been pretty. That said, I’m very happy we’ve put in work and effort and while it’s not always going to be amazing, we’re in a good place right now. 

But back to the beginning, that excitement, this is what people expect to stick around, and honestly it’s good that it doesn’t. I think back to when we first started dating, I would not pass gas in front of him…honestly 14 years of holding it in, I would have major bowel issues. 

I was always concerned with looking hot for him. Well I tell you, I sit here in sweat pants wearing a shirt that likely has spit-up on it somewhere. Meanwhile, I’m more jiggly, and have stretch marks and scars that would have horrified 19 year old me. Most of that is the result of bringing his children into the world thank you very much. 

I remember one time, when we first moved in together, I cried when he left me alone for one night…now I would jump in bed and stretch my body as far as it could go.

I’m not saying I let one rip at every opportunity, I never gussy up for him, and I never miss him when he isn’t with me. I’m just saying those are far more superficial and less important in the whole scheme of things. We have two kids now, we only have so much effort to give. 

Cale always sets up the coffee maker for me in the morning before he goes to work. It sounds like a little thing, but he’s not here in the morning with the boys and I, and that is him trying to make it a little easier for me. He tries to wake up before his alarm. That sounds weird, because isn’t that what an alarm is for? He does it because he’s trying not to wake me. These seem like such small things, and things I overlook but they’re important. Our life is not everyone’s definition of exciting, some days it wouldn’t fall into mine. But it’s fulfilling and rewarding and we’re happy. People may read this post and think it’s just pointless, or boring, or our marriage sucks. To these people I say there are two people in this marriage, and unless you are one of them, it doesn’t matter what you say.

Our 10 year anniversary was celebrated with spinach dip, nachos, a big blanket and a movie. Just typing that makes me feel warm and content. I will leave this post wishing my partner in crime a very happy anniversary and wishing us many more to come.

Mama Bear out

The Responsibility With Sons

I remember some people saying to me when Brock was born, where you have boys, you don't have to worry about them getting into trouble. I know what this seemingly innocent comment meant, from this older relative; and they are 100% wrong. 

Parents of girls have it tough, because there are men out there who will target them because of their gender. There are of course predators out there for children in general, as such I have been teaching Jake to protect himself (and will with Brock too). But during this process, I'm also teaching him about concent. Parents or girls teach out of necessity, but Parents of boys should be teaching our boys what is or isn't ok. The phrase "my body, my rules" is spoken in our house frequently. I say it from time to time so Jake knows it's not just for him, it goes for everyone. And thanks to YouTube video called "Pantasaurus" we stumbled on, he knows his private parts are his, and no one gets to see them or touch them. 

What brought about this post? Well a post appeared on my Facebook feed today. I won't go into great detail, but here in New Brunswick a 5 year old girl was at school and two boys did something to her. It has been approached as "they were being silly" and "playing a game". Again not getting into details, but if this had happened with adults, these boys would have charges against them and possibly be in custody. This is a battle this mother is fighting for her daughter right now. 

I gently told Jake about this and I have to say his reaction made me so proud. "But Mommy, it's her body, her rules", yes baby."But Mommy, her private parts belong to her" you are so right. "Mommy those boys did a bad thing. If was there I would have been her friend and told them no". 

Boys will be boys, they're being silly, they're just playing, they're too young to understand. Bull Shit! My three year old knows that he should not do this, it is NOT funny or fun, and he is three and can wrap his head around it. Parents of boys don't get to coast. And if you can't justify teaching them to protect some one else's kid, it's still your job to protect them. It's not easier having boys, because I'm protecting my boys from doing something that could get them in serious trouble. 

I can't verbally attack these boys, or their families, because I don't know them. Maybe the parents have tried teaching them and something they don't know of happened. I don't know what the circumstance are here, but I know they need to be addressed. The parents can't play this off as innocent, they need to do something if for no one else except their sons to save them from going further down this path. 

I'm thinking of all those involved. I can't even imagine what is happening to their families internally.

Mama Bear Out

Nancy 

Summer Bucket List

I love making lists. I like laying out ideas and ticking things off. One list I found I make all the time, especially since the kids, is a seasonal bucket list. This year I included Jake in the list making. He did pretty well might I add (though some things make no sense). I kind of meld the Spring and Summer list together, but I thought I would share it. 

1. Go to the Aquarium. We attempted this already…mommy read the calendar thinking she was looking at April, it was May, and the doors were locked. That was a whole big thing, but we’re going to try again. The Aquarium is a big deal in our house because THE toy, that goes to bed with Jake ever night was bought at the aquarium.

2. Work on our Garden. We planted seeds a long time ago inside and some have done well. We also cleared a very small area this past weekend. Planting is planned for this.

3. Colour (this was Jake)

4. Go to the zoo. We check out the Animal of the day on our Google home, and Jake is pretty excited. He also doesn’t believe me we’ve been before

5. Go to Jake’s best friend’s house (this is his sitter’s son, mission accomplished)

6. Go berry picking. I’m watching for the facebook posts. Last year we went for strawberry and raspberry, but by the time blueberries came, I was too pregnant. Jake recently informed me he doesn’t like raspberries too, which is a shame because he had way more fun with the raspberries last year.

7. Go see waterfalls. Last year we went to Fundy, and saw waterfalls; he still talks about it.

8. Go to Fundy (see above)

9. Watch something downstairs (thank you Jake)

10. Go to the Beach

11. Mommy singing (I don’t know)

12. Sleep in our tent/camping. We used to camp all the time. I think the last time we did was the summer before I was pregnant with Jake. So we want to do a backyard camp out to see how he does first…then we’ll see if we can go somewhere and hope he doesn’t freak out

13. Bon fire. We have once, it was kind of a mess, so we’ll try again.

14. Have a Picnic. We have done this, but it’s an easy one to do over and over

15. Have Ice cream, we have and will again

16. Go eat food (Jake)

17. Set up a pool. We lost our pool last year when it popped, we’ve been looking into a new one and a little bigger this time

18. Play with toys (this was me…obviously)

19. Go the playground. We have basically weekly.

20. Go to the Irving nature park. We have yet to even take Jake there, and we couldn’t believe it when we realized it.

21. Go to Markets. We’ve done one so far

22. BBQ. Got that bad boy out Sunday and have been enjoying the bounty of the season since

23. Blow bubbles. This is always happening, and I zip tied a thing of bubbles to the deck so I don’t have to hold the bottle the whole time.

24. Go to a splash pad. Jake has never been to one. Last year was covid’s fault and the year before he wasn’t walking. This is a must this year, he’s thrilled when you spray him with the hose

25. Go see (on) the boats. Going on a boat is currently going on the car ferry across the Saint John river. We can’t even get out. IF we get to Nova Scotia this year we hope to get out on a boat. Until then we go to Renforth Warf and look at the boats (they’re starting) and throw rocks in the water (not near the boats)

26. Go for walks. Something thrills Jake about going for a walk. He doesn’t care where, but he loves going for a walk. And if Alice is with us, oh my god, it’s the best thing ever. 

27. Go to the Freak lunchbox. While this doesn’t HAVE to be summer, I want to take Jake there some time

28. Butterfly world. Near the zoo is Butterfly world, I have only seen pictures, we’ve never been. You go in this dome building full of butterflies. Jake once chased a butterfly around with his friends for like an hour (I’m told lol). 

29. See puppies. I have no idea where that one came from, but Jake wants to see puppies. I don’t know how he wants to do that, and it doesn’t need to be puppies, he calls Alice a puppy, so puppy means dog to him. 

30. Get to Nova Scotia. This one isn’t on us, it’s dependent on the bubble.  Jake is aware he hasn’t seen Nana and Papa since Thanksgiving, and he only got to see Uncle Peter for a second. He wants to go, so fingers crossed. 

These are the things we want to do. I assure you, there is no chance we get through them all, but it will be fun (and exhausting) to try.

Mama Bear out

5 Minute Morning Skin

Once upon a time, I used to have a makeup and skin care collection, and I blogged about it frequently. When I became a mom, I had nothing to do with either, until I just kind of needed it. They fall into the self-care category, so yes, I still needed this, but what I wanted out of my products changed.  I went from a collection of products to wanting like 5 things that cover my bases, and that I could do quickly. Typically, my morning skin care routine gets 5 min. I can plop the kids in front of the wiggles and go. I thought it would be fun to share what I do, and what I use. 

Cleansing consists of a few quick swipes with Bioderma Hydrobio micellar water. I have used this for years now, and I even had it in my hospital bag when Brock was born, it was really nice to feel a little cleaner when I couldn’t get out of bed.

I follow it up with COSARx snail mucin. This was inexpensive and gives me some nice moisture for my dry skin. I always apply to my nose first; I can neglect my nose area if I do not and if I do happen to wear makeup it doesn’t always sit nicely if I haven’t taken good care of my nose area. When I apply it to the rest of my face, I use a jade roller. I do notice a difference in my skin when I use this, it seems to iron out puffiness, and to a slight extent, wrinkles too. 

I chuck on a lip balm and it’s either blistex, or Rosebud salve. Both are staples, but the Rosebud also doubles as a cuticle moisturizer. 

The eye cream I was pleasantly surprised with was, Avene physio lift eye cream. It’s a little thicker so it gives some good nourishment to my eyes, and it does help lines, and puffiness. 

Finally I wrap everything up with aveeno positively radiant moisturizer with spf 30. I walked away from this product years ago, and I have been looking for a good moisturizer/ spf. I ran out of an spf and honestly it did nothing for moisture, but I just grabbed the aveeno out of necessity. I’m not sure why I walked away. It gives me my moisture and doesn’t feel heavy. 

If I get to put makeup on that day, it comes next, but most days, this is it. Quick, and to the point.

It's Not Easier

The impression I was always given was that bottle feeding was easier. Maybe it was because of my struggle to nurse Jake when he was born, people who suggested I just go to formula thought it would have been easier on me mentally; but this is the impression I was given. 

I breast fed Jake until he was 10 months and we started to wean him. He was a struggle in the beginning, but we got there. Brock, nursed immediately, I was determined to not struggle again and immediately after he was born, I just went straight for it. I couldn’t hold my own head up, but I was nursing him. At 6 weeks, we introduced a daily pumped bottle. At 7 months, my little independent man decided he wanted to hold his own bottle and not have anyone feed him. This is when we had to switch to formula. 

While I was emotionally struggling with this (sobbing and crying out “I’m not ready for this to be over” or “he was the easy one, this isn’t fair), I tried to use logic. Logic would make me feel better right? Bottles are supposed to be easier; this should be a sigh of relief…no bottles are NOT easier!

I’m not saying nursing is easier either, believe me, I struggled in so many freakin ways. I would call them equal.  If you bottle feed, you have to buy bottles, and formula, and you have to use those things EVERY time you feed your child, you aren’t processing their food with your body for free and having a built-in feeding mechanism. And cleaning, you have to clean those bottles, for nursing, that’s called taking a shower, and you still take those, if you’re nursing or bottle feeding.  

You don’t always have to be the one to feed baby. That’s fair, but there are times I miss getting up in the night with Brock and just feeling him holding onto me…now he just wants his bottle (I cried typing that). 

Feeding in public. Ok, I’ll be honest, I never got comfortable with this, though it was better with Brock. I have mad respect for women who do not care and straight up feed their kid wherever. I did twice with Jake, and both times got crapped on for it, that might play a role, but I when into both times really self-conscious too. I am so much more comfortable whipping out a bottle. 

I’m not here to crap on either one, both have pros and cons. What I am here to say is, one is not easier than the other, they both come with stigma, they both come with potential guilt, and both come with their own headaches. “Breast is best” is becoming less and less true. I have listened to podcasts where it’s been said that formula is so close to the real thing now it’s crazy. Parenting is not one size fits all, I realize that more now having two kids, because what Jake needed at this age is not what Brock needs. This has been a post I wanted to do for a couple months, Brock’s transitioning from breast to bottle has come with a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately, I think it was the right call. Any struggle has been mine, and most of the time now I’m good with it, but I have my moments (see above). The biggest thing is, he is happier, it is visible. He’s absolutely still my little grump, but it’s more selective now.

Mama Bear Out