Going into parenthood, there were a lot of things that are a little more standard that Cale and I didn’t know. Like we asked a nurse how to pick the baby’s butt up so get underneath when changing the diaper (I feel like we got judgement for that one). But one thing we didn’t know about that would actually impact us was Jaundice. Both boys had it, but Brock barely had it at all…to the extent that one nurse argued that he didn’t with me until a doctor confirmed it. Jake did have it, to the point we were readmitted.
Jaundice is one thing I wish I had a little more knowledge about prior to Jake being born. I felt like I had done something wrong when we were readmitted. I was fighting back the tears and must have been failing because the woman at the mother/baby clinic became a lot gentler with me in a hurry. I thought the doctor was going to come in and tell me how horrible of a mother I was. I thought I had failed to keep my son healthy, and jaundice is so common, especially in babies born early.
I have mentioned on this blog more than once, I struggled with nursing, and jaundice was a key component. Thank God I had an appointment with the mother/baby clinic as often as I did because they got to a point of telling me not to kill myself trying to get him to latch because Jaundice was going to fight me.
If I could go back and tell myself something it would be that Jaundice is normal and will be a major obstacle in the beginning of motherhood for you. And it would not have made any difference. Who I was back then is completely different. I took it all personal then, I was terrified (normal) and didn’t trust that I was the best person for the job of raising Jake (I sobbed and apologized for being terrible more than once). I’m not going to claim I believe this 100% of the time now, but I would give myself a solid 85% now.
Mama Bear out!
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