The Hardest Parts of Trying

 

I almost didn’t do this post. But the other night, I was out with a group of ladies and one of the younger ones spoke of the horrors of trying to get pregnant. My story for trying to conceive Jake would likely fall into that category. We’re not talking like “Paranormal Activity” horror, more of “I know what you did last Summer”.  It falls into the category, but it could have been much darker. That said, it didn’t mean I didn’t have days where I thought my body failed me, or I just wanted to (or did) cry on my couch all day. 

Cale and I basically said right after we were married, now the baby can come. I’m not saying you can’t have a baby before you’re married, just for us, we didn’t really think of it until after. Well five years passed with this approach. I had been on discussion boards, where women were wondering why they hadn’t gotten their BFP (big fat positive). I learned what IVF, and clomid were. I learned that some times you can’t see the line early on. I learned about Vitex, Maca, Red Raspberry leaf. It’s insane all the things you learn about trying to conceive, while trying to conceive. I did research, I (luckily) found credible natural fertility information sources. I started on a strict routine, and did it for a full year, still no baby (we’re up to 6 years total now by the way). 

We went to a specialist who tested us and had little bedside manner. I was basically spoken to like I was stupid and told nothing was wrong with either of us (this is false by the way) and sent on our way. I started to implement supplements, and this went for another while. In May of 2017, I was sure I was going to get my BFP…and did not. However this was the first time that I didn’t get discouraged about it. 

Part of my strict routine included using an ovulation test twice a day. In case you don’t know this, you shouldn’t get many positives…like two on average. I had a week’s worth, and didn’t think much of it, but asked in the group I was part of. I remember getting home from work, and seeing the one response I got, “Take a pregnancy test”. I did, and sure enough, I was pregnant with who I now know to be Jake. This came one month short of two years on that routine. 

It was rough emotionally to get to that point, but maybe that’s why there wasn’t a single complaint out of me in my first pregnancy (and I had plenty to complain about). Meanwhile there are women who have to stick themselves for a chance and that doesn’t always work out. I got lucky I was able to make this work with my routine and supplement. But it doesn’t take away the tears shed, or the time I sat numb waiting for my baby. And he was worth the wait, and if I hadn’t had to wait, I wouldn’t have my amazing, smart, funny, kind, playful little boy. But it was hard, and worth it, every second, every tear. Worth it. 

Mama Bear Out 

PS, for those interested, this was the routine

Wake:

Fertility Yoga

Fertility Meditation

Fertility smoothie

Maca supplement (btw took raw powder at one point, and it killed my digestive system)

Prenatal Vitamin

Ovulation test

Lunch:

Fertility friendly salad

Evening: 

Caster Oil Pack

Fertility message

Ovulation test