Just so you know, I'm a bad mom

 have been listening to a lot of audilbe, mostly because I don’t have time to recreationally read. I fit it in where I can, mostly in the car or while I’m doing housework. I have consumed more books so far this year than I did in all of last year. I enjoyed reading when I was a kid, and then I got older, and it wasn’t “cool”. Now I prefer parting my hair to the side, and skinny jeans, I’m cool with being not cool. I checked out Kristina Kuzmic’s book, which is a great read for any parent. Audible then suggested a book by Tova Leigh, and her book F*cked at 40, which may or may not offend some people, but it is awesome to me. Se verbalizes some things that have been on my mind, but I dare not say for fear of being labeled a “selfish” or “bad mom”. 

After I went back to work, after Jake was born, I returned to my old tongue in cheek nick-name, “Mom”. Prior to hearing this 100+ times a day, it was cute, and when I got pregnant, positively adorable. But when you are an actual mother, you don’t want to be looked at like a mom to all of your co-workers. No, work is where you want to be able to have adult conversations, with adults. You want a break from being told “A butt” to inform you some one as filled their diaper (though still one of the cutest videos of my son). 

In Tova’s book, she talks about how she took a girls trip to Ibiza. I don’t see that happening (with or without covid). But I’ thinking of adopting more self-care. Most mornings, I drive Jake to the sitter, and I have thrown on leggings or jeans, haven’t touched my face, or hair, and I’ll usually put on a bra. That is typically the extent. So I want to adopt 10 min into my day to just get my face washed. I’m pretty sure her kids were older than my two, so this might be my limit, but who knows. 

I was sitting here thinking how my Dad was a single parent, and wondering how he did it, with no self-care, truth was he DID have self-care. Dad had his weekly bowling night, and when we were kids, he had Saturday nights, we spent them at my grandparent’s. When we got older, he started walking. Granted, that was also when he was getting out of the house to smoke, but he walked, like FAR. My dad also did the stay at home parent thing for years after mom passed ( we were super lucky for that), so he did need some time. My dad is my role model for a lot of things as far as parenting goes, but this is one item I have overlooked, and need to stop because I have met burn out more than once. 

It's weird when you admit to a lack of perfection in the mother department how you feel like a dart board for the barbs that are judgmental (let’s face it) moms. To them I say, this weekend I did 2 picnics, bird watching, garden planning, a little impromptu play date, painted a bird feeder and got in loads of cuddle time…bite me, I’m awesome! 

K, Luv Ya, Bye

Nancy