Not Wishing This Away

         

          One of the biggest regrets I have with Jake is wishing time away. When this passes it will be easier, or I can't wait for... Parenting is hard, point blank. I knew this before Jake was born, but I had no sweet clue how hard. My sister in law and I discussed this more than once in the last 6 months. It's never what you think, and there are curve balls constantly and hopelessness at times. If you're some one who is dreaming of being a parent, and this terrifies you, I promise it's ALL worth it. The problem is sometimes you let these things overshadow the stuff you should savor, because it disappears to quick.

          I have this all in my head, and am trying to keep this in my mind with Baby B. I LOVED being pregnant with Jake. I loved almost every second, even when I had to be admitted, I basked in the fact that I could sit for hours and listen to his heart beat. With this one, it's been more of a struggle. I was sick longer, tired more, but I've tried to enjoy it, and in the later part I have much more than I did the first round. At this point with Jake, I was wishing for the end. I'm a little proud that I am not this time. I'm enjoying the last couple of weeks of feeling my little person inside of me. One reason, I missed it after Jake was born. Another reason, we don't plan on having any more kids. This is the last time I will love being the size of a house, or feel a little tiny person move, or my favorite the little person getting excited when hi big brother talks to him.


          Remember me talking about mom guilt? I do try and avoid it if I can.